There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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