yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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