chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize