did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
another moral hangover. fuck.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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