i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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