We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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