To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I want to make a zoo with you.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
