You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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