If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Text me some of your sweat
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
