Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
