Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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