Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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