I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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