her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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