That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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