While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
