And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
