There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Randomize
