i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
