Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
