look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
