Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
