Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
