Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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