I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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