For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I think i got beer on your cat.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
