Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
