i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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