All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
