i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
