Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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