i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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