This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
