I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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