just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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