i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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