like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the day after is always just damage control
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
