atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
