She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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