we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize