butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
