Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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