Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
