BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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