So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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