I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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