man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
