Did you just see the Batmobile???
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
