i'm lost and i look like a hooker
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Houston, we have a squirter
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize