On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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