Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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