How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
