Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
