I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
