so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
