Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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