i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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