she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
