Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
