He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
