I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
